Salaam Alaikum,

Dear Heart,
Can you please try your best to stop beating so hard? You make it very difficult for me to concentrate. I know you are shattered but I think you can piece yourself up, InshaAllah. I think it's time for you to know that I no longer wish to feel the butterfly-in-stomach, stomach flip, flutters, and all those rapid heartbeats when my mind wanders off to whatever it is that makes you go haywire. Good luck with that.

When I face Allah as a humble, insignificant servant, you start to pound really hard. I'm not sure if it's out of fear, expectations or because you're still hurting. But if you continue with these palpitations, you'll be hurting yourself moment by moment. Please try your best to control that, too.

You should also be aware that I don't like seeing you in such a condition. There's no need to suffer. No one deserves to be loved any more than Allah swt. I would also like you to help me focus all my love and admiration in the direction of Allah swt. I think we can do it and find the answers together.

Sometimes, you get really excited and you should also work on limiting that because your excitement isn't always what I'm expecting. I'm guessing we both want different things. I doubt we can compromise. When I meet someone, please don't feel inclined to them. I don't believe it's worth it. When I pass by, steal a glance or even think for a moment, please realize that I'm under no circumstances to be pondering about such things. I know you will be shattered not once, not twice, not thrice but countless of times but you should know it's worth it everytime... because after each time, comes a better and more worthful moment. I know you may become upset, angry, bitter, annoyed, frustrated and sometimes feel betrayed, but it's best to look away from such feelings.
I also know that there's no point of lying to you since you know every emotions better than I do. But when I do lie about how I feel, I'd appreciate it if you can resort to believing me, or at least trying, instead of continuing to do the right thing. You hurt me when you go out of your own way to please a stranger and come back broken into a million pieces. When I meet someone, please don't shatter or feel you have to be honest with your emotions with them. Just ignore. Good luck with that, too.

I think it's time you and I try to stay grounded and not let our emotions run away with us. Thank you for teaching me all these small, valuable, somewhat disturbing and unbelievable, yet worthful life values. I thank you for that.

Love Always,
Mujahid E Musafir ♥ xXx

Wa Alaikum Salaam