How Poor Are We

One day, the father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the express purpose of showing him how poor people live.

They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family.

On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, 'How was the
trip?'

'It was great, Dad.'

'Did you see how poor people live?' the father asked.

'Oh yeah,' said the son.
'So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?' asked the father

The son answered:

'I saw that we have one dog and they had four.

We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end.

We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night.

Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon.

We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight.

We have servants who serve us, but they serve others.

We buy our food, but they grow theirs.

We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them.'

The boy's father was speechless.

Then his son added, 'Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are.'

Isn't perspective a wonderful thing?

Makes you wonder what would happen if we all gave thanks for everything we have, instead of worrying about what we don't have.

Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends!

'Life is too short and friends are too few.'
Salaam Alaikum,

For all of you who are doubting and bashing Imam Anwar Al Awlaki... you guys need to chill. There is NO proof as to whether he absolutely made such statements. How do you KNOW for sure that his blog wasn't HACKED? Let Allah do the Judging... we're not his witnesses. Allah is. There's no reason to call someone a terrorist based without any proof. How do you know what's really in his heart? Doesn't he also speak out against violence and the such?

When I found out about it, I was really shocked, to be honest. Because first of all, this guy is a MUSLIM and encouraging death on others is a bit, un-Islamic, right? But I guess I can see why he felt like that. There are tons of things that are happening and can easily anger people and distort their views. But I feel as though the most important thing to remember is to THINK before we speak and to watch our words. Once they leave our mouths, they are no longer in our possession to add, edit, or delete. In fact, they are more vulnerable to be distorted and once the mass population starts believing untrue words, it instantaneously says something about our character. So let this be a lesson to us to watch our words.

Secondly, even though I personally don’t agree with the statements he made, I am still skeptical as to whether his intention was what we think or not. Khair, Allahu Alim. Let Allah swt be his Witness and Judge.

Also, this guy has done so much for the Muslim community. He has tons of lectures, audios and videos. Though I haven’t followed him in a wide array of scale, I did listen to some of his audios about the life of the Prophet for a night. And then I deleted the files because it was slowing down my laptop. But either way, from the 2 CDs that I listened to, he was really concise on what he was saying MashaAllah and granted that I learned a few things along the way.

I don’t know. Maybe he was enraged at the situation of the world? I know when I get upset at seeing the oppression Muslims face because of the actions and hatred of nonMuslims, I become extremely upset. So when I see the same being done to nonMuslims, I feel a sense of “equalness.” I know it’s completely wrong to wish harm upon others, but at the moment, it feels really good to see the tables turned for a chance. However, I do realize moments after what if the tables were turned again and it was someone I knew and cared for that the tragedy happened to? Surely, I’d feel terrible. However, that has now changed and I no longer feel “revenge has been fulfilled” but rather compassion and sympathy. Regardless of whether the individuals are Muslims or nonMuslims, no one deserves to die by the hands of another individual out of greed and hatred, but by the will of Allah swt. There is no room for vigilantes in the job of Allah swt.

If we have no compassion for life and kill nonMuslims freely, then why would we expect nonMuslims to NOT hurt us twice as much in return? Surely, this world is coming to its doom… so many disturbing things are going on. But then again, things happen for a reason and even through death, it’s another lesson for us to learn.
So, I guess at vulnerable times like this, we as Muslims should watch what we say and how we portray ourselves and value life regardless of division lines. Islam does not even advocate violence and murder.

Wa Alaikum Salaam,
Mujahid E Musafir

* Black= Mujahid E Musafir
* Maroon= Kimi


*DISCLAIMER: Mujahid E Musafir has never been on a date and probably never will. Please read with caution. Anything said or written in no way represents Kimi. Please take all your allegations and feel free to sue Mujahid E Musafir. However, keep in mind that in the court of Mujahid E Musafir, bias and critical commentary will be enforced. All rights reserved.*

Now, being Mujahid E Musafir’s shadow comes with many advantages, one of them being I can read in between the lines ofMujahid E Musafir’s words. This sweet sensible stuff is really not at all what she means, so I’m here to give it to you straight. I promised Kimi Kommentary and here it is.


Hahha I was going through my old journals and I found my contract-- the rules and regulations for dating Iya if it was halal.
I also had a list of 50 people on my Death List but I flushed those 2 journals down the toilet because they reminded me of someone horrible.
I was rereading some stuff and writing about my imaginary friends when I came across a flyer I made back in Freshmen year that I handed out to all the guys, except guys don’t go to my school, so I handed it out to all the girls---rules, regulations, stipulations and dreams for dating Iya, if dating was halal. I also am Emo so naturally I had a death list which I burned for fear of someone finding it and killing me before I got a chance to kill them.


I wrote it 2 days before my birthday. Please don't laugh... I understand it's stupid and I was more immature 2 years back.
I wrote it 2 days before my imaginary boyfriend’s birthday so I could give it to him as a present. Please laugh. I know I was laughing like crazy when I read them [It’s true. Mujahid E Musafir laughed like a maniac when we were reading them]. I understand it’s stupid and immature but hello, I’m Iya. Get used to it! 

So, here I go:
Ok. Once upon a time in a land far, far, far away in my imagination...


Bismillah Al-Ra7man Al-Ra7eem

November 27 2008

Iya's 53 Rules of Dating [If Dating was 7alal]

1. You must be a Muslim by choice and practice.
Meaning: Your Mommy and Daddy aren’t making you pray or fast or be a Muslim. They can’t say "*insert name* pray or else I’m taking your Xbox!” so you run and pray but the whole time you’re thinking “Dude, I was totally about to score that goal!” or “Shoot that cop!"


2. I don't care what your background is, but don't ever feel superior or inferior to mine, because you definitely don't have the upper hand at all, or the lower hand either.
Meaning: I don’t care who you are. I’m better than you! Get over it!


3. If you feel you're racist toward a certain group, your reasons better reflect yourself.
Meaning: I really don’t know what this means. I was just trying to sound smart. I think what I mean is you can’t be racist unless it’s against yourself? I think. [It’s true. I asked Mujahid E Musafir what she meant by that and she said she didn’t know; she was trying to be smart and she forgot what she meant by this rule.]


4. You do not have the right to copy, reproduce, alter, distribute, etc. any of my personal items, properties [including pictures, videos, music, media] without consent, in whole or in part. Failure to comply with these rules definitely results in copyright infringement.
Meaning: I’m trying to become famous. How am I gonna do that when you all are selling my photos, videos, music, media without my phone number on it?! 


5. According to me, you do not have the right to post any material to any online media that reflects upon me. This includes photos, videos and recordings. You may not edit my photos, etc, or post any photos with me in them without my consent.
Meaning: Only I can put my face on kittens, samosas or someone’s body because I’m too pretty for you people to use your inferior editing programs! [It’s true. Iya is really gorgeous/hot, Masha-Allah.]


6. Wearing a hijab is my choice. Don't tell me how you want me to wear it if I don't ask you.
Meaning: I really don’t care what you think! You’re just jealous I’m hot!

7. You can have as many female friends as you want and I can have as many male friends as I want.
Meaning: You can cheat on me if I can cheat on you. See, we both can be happy!


8. If you can't talk over problems, then it's over.
Meaning: When we fight, admit you’re wrong and if we figure out I’m wrong, admit you’re wrong, anyway!


9. I'm not your personal property. Treat me with respect and I'll treat you like a King that feeds me samosas, ice cream and whipped cream in bed... maybe.
Meaning: I’m not your property. I really own you. Don’t forget it!


10. You are obligated to feel guilty about being dishonest. But, please, under no circumstances should you feel guilty for being honest.
Meaning: If you lie, you’re dead! And if you tell the truth, you live. Simple enough, right? WRONG! If your honesty causes me any pain or grief, you’re dead!

11. I have a life and so do you. Don't be mad and jealous if I spend time alone without you with my friends.
Meaning: I have friends. You might not, but I do. When I ignore your calls, don’t respond to texts and don’t reply to emails, assume I’m watching a movie with the girls. And don’t assume I’m acting upon rule number 7 because I’m not... on weekdays.

12. Screaming, yelling and cursing at me are off limits.
Meaning: If you insult me, it’s over! But I’m free to call you “biatch” and “assh*le” as much as I like.

13. Once you ignore me, expect a break-up.
Meaning: Although I can ignore your calls, don’t you ever ignore mine! I don’t care if you were stranded at sea, and then crashed on a deserted island where you had to eat coconuts for a month! You better answer my call! You have AT&T. They get bars everywhere!

14. Don't expect phone calls when you can't make any.
Meaning: I really don’t call people that don’t call me first. So call me. Otherwise, I’ll stalk you! [It’s true. Iya barely initiates a phone call because she doesn’t like speaking. Unless it’s a hot guy. Then she’ll call him 24/7.]

15. I don't like "used properties." Prepare to be pure or else don't bother.
Meaning: “Aww. You’re so sweet and pure. What? You’re not exactly pure. You’ve talked to other girls and missed prayers before. *Gasps.* Good-Bye!”

16. I'm not your "girlfriend" but one of your "intimately close friends."
Meaning: I’m only looking for fun. I’m not into the whole commitment thing. Besides, you’re not going to get anywhere with me so don’t get your hopes up! 

17. Don't ever say “I Love You” unless you mean it.
Meaning: You better tell me you love me 5 times a day and you better mean it like your life depends on it! (Because it does.) And if you don’t mean it, fake it really, really well.

18. Don't ever say “I can't live without you," “You are my world," "I love you more than anything" or anything else along that line. Chances are you're a drama freak.
Meaning: You can tell me you love me. But again, I’m not into commitment. Once you start to sound clingy, get out!

19.  Don't say anything unless you're sure it's appropriate.
Meaning: And by “appropriate,” I mean “praises me highly.” If it doesn’t, don’t say it!

20. My body is off limits.
Meaning: You’re not getting anything. Don’t think you’re lucky because you’re nothing special! 

21. If you hurt me, expect to be hurt back twice as much.

Meaning: If you hurt me, you’re gonna regret it, twice! One time from me and the other from Mama Star Kimi!

22. If you want a break-up, be open and honest about it.
Meaning: If you want to break up, just tell me so I can kill you before you get a chance to leave me! 

23. If you play hard to get, I play "I don't care." It's quite easy to move on.
Meaning: If you think your playing cool and macho is going to get me, you’re so wrong! I got plenty others. You’re just a rebound for the next hour until the other one comes back online.

24. Respect my culture and traditions.
Meaning: Don’t hate; appreciate… ME!!!

25. Respect my family and stature and religion.
Meaning: Love, respect, understanding... or the gun.

26. Don't lie and cheat. If you're caught, it's instant revenge.
Meaning: You’re totally allowed to lie and cheat. Just don’t get caught. If you get caught, it’s GAME OVER!

27. Don't gossip and talk behind my back.
Meaning: If you have something to say to me then say it to my face, not my back. I’ll understand and you’ll understand why you’re missing teeth and have a black eye.

28. You're just one individual. Your friends are NOT just limited to you, so don't get upset if I befriend them.
Meaning: Don’t be mad at me when your friends think I’m cooler [and hotter] than you.

29. I occasionally would like to have fun. Don't be afraid to joke around.
Meaning: Don’t take me serious, ever! Unless I’m being serious, then don’t joke around! [It’s true. Iya’s never serious unless she otherwise states so.]

30. I'd like you to know me very well and feel comfortable around me.
Meaning: You must, must, must talk to me at least 5-6 hours a day for the rest of your life in order to get to know me because yes, I’m that crazy.

31. I'd like to see you point me out to friends with pride, show me off and say "That's her."
Meaning: I’m hot. I know it. You know it. Your MOM knows it. So point it out to everyone you see.

32. Don't be afraid to make me smile and laugh.
Meaning: I know I’m crazy but I don’t have fangs so make me laugh and I won’t bite you!

33. It's okay to whisper in my ears.
Meaning: My ear is as close as you’re going to get so take advantage of my generosity.

34. I only give one chance. So be careful with what you say and do.
Meaning: Again, you’re just a rebound. You get 1 chance to make me like you but hurry up because I got a date with your buddy from school at 8.

35. Please, please, please don't make any promises if you know you can't keep them in the long run.
Meaning: People that tell me they’ll send me sand better send me sand! Otherwise, I’m gonna hunt you down!

36. Don't change your number, ignore me and act like you don't know what's going on hoping I'm an idiot. Chances are you'll get burned.
Meaning: Don’t bother changing your number. I’m a stalker, remember? I have your Social Security Number already. I can find you anywhere! [It’s true. This has happened before and Iya figured out the new number in a matter of days.]

37. I have revenge plans all laid out. Please be cautious.
Meaning: That’s really just a threat to see if you’ll test me. Honestly, I have no plans at all.

38. If you embarrass or humiliate me, expect one in return.
Meaning: Embarrass me and you’ll wear a bag over your face for the rest of your life.

39. Don't forward my number, email or address to anyone else without my consent.
Meaning: If you’re reading this and know of any hot single males, please send them my contact info.

40. Don't talk to my family members without my consent.
Meaning: My family... they don’t like me. They will tell you tons of lies about me being crazy and stalker-ish so don’t bother talking to them. [It’s true. This is the reason why Iya never introduces her friends to her family.]

41. If we ever have a break-up, don't go around acting like you don't know me. I don't always seek revenge in all cases. We can still be friends, depending on the situation.
Meaning: I’m so special you should be honored to even have had the chance to date me, even if it was for only 5 minutes! Wear the “I’M IYA'S EX” shirt I gave you proudly!!!

42. I don't always go on my revenge tactics. I'll let you know if I plan on enacting one on you.
Meaning: I’m really not good at revenge. So in my place, I shall send Kimi. And yes, she’s as evil as her name sounds.

43. If you don't give me a chance to explain or talk it over, expect an instant break-up followed by humiliation.
Meaning: When you catch me cheating, lying or eating your samosas, don’t say anything. Just smile and wave! 

44. Don't take advantage of me.
Meaning: Don’t mess with a girl that has a serial killer sidekick.

45. Revenge Plan # 21-b: Don't ask me to elaborate. Just know that it might happen if you break any 3 major rules.
Meaning: Whatever I say makes sense even if your little brain doesn’t understand it. Just make sure you don’t break rules unless you like broken bones.

46. You will sign this contract and receive a copy.
Meaning: In case you violate any of the things I have listed, please sign the paper so that I may sue you after you return home from the hospital.

47. Do not lie about me, my friends or family.
Meaning: You already know the penalty for lying.

48. If it does not have anything to do with you, don't worry about it.
Meaning: What I do is what I do. It has nothing to do with you so don’t worry. I’ll take good advantage of you and your money.

49. If you make a mistake, it's okay. But feel free to discuss it.

Meaning: I expect nothing less than perfection like me! If you make a mistake, prepare to be interrogated!

50. If you are concerned or want to improve anything, please be comfortable enough to talk it out. I'm willing to understand and be supportive.
Meaning: Willing to understand and be supportive... in your decision to change your ways and be more like me. 

51. Don't be constantly overworked and upset at over little things.
Meaning: The only one that can PMS is me!

52. Believe me when I say so, or at least give me a chance.
Meaning: Everything I say is the truth and if it’s not, everyone else, the books, the media is wrong. 

53. Never regret the things you do unless it's serious. A mistake is not a mistake, [unless] it's an opportunity to learn.

Meaning: Learn from everything I have just said. If you don’t, it could be the last mistake you ever make!


This Koncludes Kommentary with Kimi. Please join us next week as we discuss the effects of ice cream. :P

Hope you enjoyed our article.

Love always,

Mujahid E Musafir & Kimi M. A-W © 2008-Present


Dear MM Brothers,

When a female calls you a dog, she really doesn't mean it. JAY KAY!
Sike, she means it in the most purest, honest actual form, 100 %, in the most extremest levels ever.

But if you're really sensitive [as I know most of you are] and your feelings now are hurt, then
look at it this way.

Men= Dogs
Dogs= Loyal Companions

Therefore,

Men= Loyal Companions

But like, a marriage is SO MUCH more and deeper than what Islam says.
It's not just ALL about having a loyal companion;
it's about whipped cream, ice cream and samosas.

What would a marriage be without having someone to feed you ice cream, samosas and whipped cream in bed
for the rest of your very short, pathetic, yet somewhat disturbing life?
Simple, it would be NOTHING.

So, when you're out spouse shopping, make sure you open that little tiny
box inside your diminutive brains and contemplate the wise words of Iya.
Remember: Samosas, Whipped Cream and Ice Cream in bed... for the rest of your lives.
The three main qualities that guarantee a lasting, healthful and strong marriage.

All that stuff people told you about special bonds and ladida is all bakwaas.

Oh and if you can find a potential spouse who is willing to feed someone ice cream, samosas
and/or whipped cream for the rest of his dog-gone life, you know who to call.

Anyway, keep in mind... men= dogs... in a good way.

JazakAllah Khair and may you have lovely sheets of Egyptian cotton.

Love Always [NAWT],
Mujahid E Musafir

PS: I forgot about toaster ovens and salsa. A marriage is more lasting with a toaster oven to
toast and salsa to eat with Tostitos... but the cupped Tostitos cuz otherwise the salsa falls off the flat ones.

And I prefer keema with samosas.

PPS: Oh and the # 23, Steve Holy and "Good Morning, Beautiful" are the extra qualities that make a marriage last 57.009% longer. :D

Source: My brother's diary that is now under my bed. :P
Mujahid E Musafir's Acceptance Speech:


*Announcer's hushed voice: The 5 time award winner, Mujahid E Musafir, is now holding a press conference funded by Kimi to thank everyone. The crowd is filled with anticipation. Let's watch and see how it goes.*

*Mujahid E Musafir gets to the stand*

Mujahid E Musafir: AHEM...*does a little warm up singing*

This is truly an honor to be able to stand up here today...on my virtual pedestal...and virtually talk to you all today. When I noticed I had won 5 awards my first reaction was "OMG yes...all those threats to get people to vote worked"...and then when I found out it hadn't been rigged, I was like "Wow, I'm actually popular."

Umm....these 5 awards hold a special place in my heart....and should in all of yours...cuz I mean...these 5 awards are like mine...and that means they're special. Umm....5 awards is such an accomplishment for me. I'd like to go through each award and describe to you the meaningfulness of each one.

"Kimi get the lights."

*SPOT LIGHTS*

The first award is one of my favorites....The most craziest...now when I first heard this I was like..."I want the name and address of the stupid Mother Lover who decided: 'Hmmm, I think I'll vote for Iya.'" But then I remembered "Oh right. I am crazy." Nvm *calls off the SWAT raid*
Anyway. But then I read that Musa got the cutest....so I was like "Bwahahah these are such lies." Cuz we all know I'm the cutest.

The second one....Most Random....now I'm not random. My little mind just has too many good ideas to keep talking about one loong boring thing...I know....Kimi laughed when I said that too....but it's true...and frankly, if I wasn't random I'd be like the rest of y'all losers so HA!


Ahem....anyway....Liveliest...now that's gotta be my favorite....cuz it's so true...it might be because while the rest of the world is sleeping I'm cracking hard rock and drinking whipped cream out the bottle...but c'mon live a little....life can't always be a coffin.


Fourth....Most seen online reading MM threads....of course this had to go to me....I sit here 24/7 or at least till my wi-fi cuts off...cuz as some of you may know, I live in a prison...and no it's not for harassment charges...it's for smuggling Oreos...but anyway, that's personal....umm...this shows my true dedication to MM....or it shows I'm really not allowed on any other websites past 7....either way... IM LOYAL TO MM...*cough cough*

Ahem, same thing with Most active user...it shows my loyalties to MM....and the inaccessibility to YouTube....

I was prepared to say "Last but not least" about this last one...but erm...it seems I didn't receive anymore....ahem so....back to the other one...

In conclusion....I'd just like to say "THANKS, JAZAKALLAHU KHAIR"... to all those who voted for me....and for all those who did *leans in and whispers* please give Kimi your names and numbers and she will be getting in contact with you soon after this is over *winks* Inshallah CONGRATS to all the winners...and erm....be on the look out next year for more winners...such as...MUJAHID E MUSAFIR....MUJAHID E MUSAFIR or MUJAHID E MUSAFIR.

Oh, I'd also like to thank my sponsors for letting me skip today's rehab session to attend this *ahem Kim*... and erm for my script writer *ahem Kimi*...and my most favorite person ever who has a brazillion awards...*ahem Kimi cough cough*

Oh, and also I'd like to thank the make up companies for supplying and making my life's worth of make up and the clothes companies for supplying my clothing....WOOHOOO Egyptian cotton!!!

And a shout out to all the hot dudes on MM...you guys are the reason I'm here....

*puts hands in the air* GOD BLESS AMERICA!!! ahaha
LAND OF THE FREE....HOME OF ME!!!

*Announcer: Now we just saw Mujahid E Musafir accept all her awards but I think her publicist now would like to comment. Let's watch.*

*Kimi to the podium*

Kimi: Ahem....Hi. I'm Kimi...You all have probably heard my name mentioned at many of Mujahid E Musafir's erm...parties...or online broadcastings[FaceBook Videos]...I'm just here to tell everyone that erm....Mujahid E Musafir had a crazy night last night and erm...if she offended anyone she's very sorry and erm....she humbly accepts all the awards...*as Mujahid E Musafir's running across the stage with a box of Oreos*

Erm...I'll be honest...when she said she won awards I was like "Bwahahaha you're lying....you have to be lying cuz like...what award would you win"....but you saw the awards she got so...you know where I was coming from with this....

Mujahid E Musafir holds a special place in everyone's hearts, I'm sure...and if she doesn't well then...you obviously don't know her...or you do and she scared you away with her aggressiveness and stalkerish habits...and erm..that's ok cuz I ran away the first couple of times myself.

But the point is eventually she'll grow on you....like a fungus or moss on a tree...and she will show you the real person she is...the crazy, loud, naugthy, silly, emotional, full of herself..self that erm...we all love...so erm...MUJAHID E MUSAFIR this one's *points to the spot light* for you, babe. Congrats...and erm....everyone look forward to next week's press conference...hopefully we can ditch rehab that time too....

Written by: Kimi
Edited by: Mujahid E Musafir