Allied News
November 21, 2007

Kanye West accepted Islam in a Washington, D.C. mosque. The rapper claimed his acquaintances, "Freeway," and "Mos Def," who are already practicting Muslims, influenced him greatly.

Kanye said his conversion won't affect his music, as most Rapper converts. He said he'll continue to make provacative videos, have sex, drink, hit up the clubs, and have more sex. He's giving up bacon one day at a time.

He has however contemplated a name change in case he's ever on a plane that terrorist hijack, quote "Yo if them n*ggas, try ta' highjack ma' a**, I can always pull out ma' ID and be like, yo, I'm one of y'all! Knaw' mean? That's just smart, that's just straight hustla, Louis Vutton!"

On news of Kanye's conversion statement, designer Louis Vutton revoked Kanye's contract saying
"I mean what if he starts a trend, and we have to start designing turbans, I mean, come on...."

Kanye replied saying "Yo I don't care, it ain't nuthin' ta me, I'm #1, I been gettin' approached by designers ever since Lous Vutton left me." Note Allied News did check Kanye's claim on this, and found no evidence.

Analyst say Kanye's sales have yet to drop in the U.S. since the news, but may increase in other places such as UAE, Pakistan, and Indonesia.

Kanye has been contemplating the name "Khalil West," or "Khalil Wes-Saeed," as in "West Side," but local DC Imam, Sheikh Ibrahim El-Kadri said the name should not be glamorous. Sheikh Ibrahim El-Kadri has been a Kanye West song ever since 'Jesus Walks,' "I use to bump that up Yani, vhen I go to za cruisin', people look at me like, who is dis brazar with tha big beard bobbin' his head, what? and Imam can't get jiggy wizzit? Yakhi please..."

West also said if he found the religion to be difficult to integrate with music, he may leave to Judaism. "Hey after all Madona did it, and this ain't Saudi, ain't nobody gona' chop my head or hand or whatever they do to apostates..."

Rutgers

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